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Our pets live
relatively short lives. For many of us who love our pets, their death can affect
some of us even more than the death of a relative or friend. The death of a pet
leaves few people totally untouched.
A pet may come
to symbolize many things to each of us. It may represent a child, perhaps a
child yet to be conceived or the innocent child in us all. It may reflect the
ideal mate or parent, ever faithful, patient and welcoming, loving us
unconditionally. It is a playmate and a sibling. It is a reflection of
ourselves, embodying negative and positive qualities we recognize or lack in
ourselves. The same pet may be all of these, alternating between roles on any
given day or for each member of the family.
When a pet dies,
we expect that our pain will be acknowledged, even if it is not shared, by our
relatives, friends and colleagues. Though the bond between you and your pet is
as valuable as any of your human relationships, the importance of its loss may
not be appreciated by other people. The process of grieving for a pet is no
different than mourning the death of a human being. The difference lies in the
value that is placed on your pet by your family and by society as a whole.
Your grief may
be compounded by lack of response from a friend or family member. Realize that
you do not need anyone else's approval to mourn the loss of your pet, nor must
you justify your feelings to anyone. Do not fault anyone who cannot appreciate
the depth of your grief for a pet. The joy found in the companionship of a pet
is a blessing not given to everyone.
Seek validation
for your pain from people who will understand you. Speak with your veterinarian,
a veterinary technician, groomer or another pet owner. Ask for a referral to pet
grief support groups or veterinary bereavement counselors in your area. The
death of a pet can revive painful memories and unresolved conflicts from the
past that amplify your current emotional upheaval. Seek comfort in the support
of professional counselors or clergy.
This
is an opportunity for emotional growth. Your life was and will continue to be
brighter because of the time that you shared with your pet. This is the best
testament to the value of your pet's existence. |